Grapenuts

I guess a lot of people will have tried this stuff. It's described on the packet as a breakfast cereal but only because nobody would buy it if it was described as building supplies. Seriously, it's like eating gravel. I quite like the stuff personally. I don't eat it too often as I like having unbroken teeth. It's also pretty heavy in your stomach, good ballast for the day.

Anyway, we were sat around the office discussing the flame faced embarrassment we have all had from time to time talking to a girl that we liked. You know what it's like right? You step up, mumble something inane then wish the earth would swallow you. A fist biting moment. I truly hate this. I'd love to be smooth a cross between James Bond sipping a martini and casanova slipping...well you can fill in the rest. Unfortunately I am more a cross between Norman Wisdom and Kramer from Seinfeld. The cure? Could be a bit of alcohol.

The alcohol cure is great but risky. Timing is everything. Getting careless and necking numerous tequilas then staggering over and doing your impression of an elephant (a la sid the sexist) is not the way to woo fair maiden. Ideally you need to have imbibed enough for courage but not so much that you can't talk/speak coherently/stand and/or remain aware of societys rules of polite conduct. I guess women just don't like a swaying, mumbling guy who stinks of booze and is offering her a night to remember.

Anyone know why it's called dutch courage? Do the dutch need alcohol? Does Jan need a beer before sticking his finger in a dyke?

Which leads us neatly onto drunken sex. The timing rule applies here too. Maybe a bit tipsy but so drunk you can't see? Not going to go well.

I have no idea where i am going with this blog entry. Entries on the bottom of your letter to Santa please.