Pavement etiquette
A subject very dear to my heart.
I have been working on my patience for some years now and I have to say it's improving. I remain polite and calm even in the face of excessive provocation. I assume some of this is due to the fact that I work closely with a very large number of people and come into contact with a large number of customers over the course of a day. I guess people skills can be learned whatever the consultants say!
I like to think that a majority of my self control has come through conscious effort. I do have a lot of time for people who are genuinely bewildered but very little for fools. The distinction can become blurred very easily.
What was I talking about? Ah, yes. Pavement etiquette. The unwritten rules of the pavement. You know when you are trying to get to work or to an appointment? You are in a bit of a rush. All of a sudden in front of you on the pavement are the blockers. They are a certain type. Sometimes mothers with double buggys for their kids. Sometimes old ladies with nowhere in particular to go and no wish to get there quickly. Sometime a large crowd of irritating adolescents.
MOVE! MOVE NOW BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL! I have no problem with you meandering around aimlessly just do it to one side so people can get past!
I take control of myself and say, "excuse me, may i get past". I say this with my best smile and in as non threatening a way as possible. Sometimes this pays off. Sometimes they look at you as if you have just suggested they get on all fours while you introduce them to your monkey. If this is the case I try to be even more polite but what I really want to do is see if the old sweetheart can eat her tartan shopping trolly.
Please people for the sake of my sanity, please just be aware that someone may need to move quicker than a percentage of a mile an hour. For the love of god stand to one side. You aren't in a hurry anyway so what does it matter of you get delayed for a second?
The Pavement etiquette is as follows.
Thou shalt not take up the entire pavement with your childs double buggy.
Thou shalt not stop suddenly to go through your bag without first stepping to one side of the pavement. On pain of being knocked over and trampled.
Thou shalt not stand aimlessly on a busy pavement blocking others. On pain of see above.
Thou shalt not use the entrance to a shop to conduct inane conversations about one of your families hernia or other miscellanious rubbish.
Thou shalt not drag an umbrella through a busy pavement at eye height (I once had a four inch scratch put on my face about half an inch under my left eye) on pain of having it inserted into you and opened.
Thou shalt keep an eye on your kids. If they dash out of the crowd in front of me and I walk into them it's your fault not mine. You had them, you look after them.
I am sure there are more, possibly ten but I cannot be arsed with thinking of others.
The main commandment is just fucking stop it, ok?
I have been working on my patience for some years now and I have to say it's improving. I remain polite and calm even in the face of excessive provocation. I assume some of this is due to the fact that I work closely with a very large number of people and come into contact with a large number of customers over the course of a day. I guess people skills can be learned whatever the consultants say!
I like to think that a majority of my self control has come through conscious effort. I do have a lot of time for people who are genuinely bewildered but very little for fools. The distinction can become blurred very easily.
What was I talking about? Ah, yes. Pavement etiquette. The unwritten rules of the pavement. You know when you are trying to get to work or to an appointment? You are in a bit of a rush. All of a sudden in front of you on the pavement are the blockers. They are a certain type. Sometimes mothers with double buggys for their kids. Sometimes old ladies with nowhere in particular to go and no wish to get there quickly. Sometime a large crowd of irritating adolescents.
MOVE! MOVE NOW BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL! I have no problem with you meandering around aimlessly just do it to one side so people can get past!
I take control of myself and say, "excuse me, may i get past". I say this with my best smile and in as non threatening a way as possible. Sometimes this pays off. Sometimes they look at you as if you have just suggested they get on all fours while you introduce them to your monkey. If this is the case I try to be even more polite but what I really want to do is see if the old sweetheart can eat her tartan shopping trolly.
Please people for the sake of my sanity, please just be aware that someone may need to move quicker than a percentage of a mile an hour. For the love of god stand to one side. You aren't in a hurry anyway so what does it matter of you get delayed for a second?
The Pavement etiquette is as follows.
Thou shalt not take up the entire pavement with your childs double buggy.
Thou shalt not stop suddenly to go through your bag without first stepping to one side of the pavement. On pain of being knocked over and trampled.
Thou shalt not stand aimlessly on a busy pavement blocking others. On pain of see above.
Thou shalt not use the entrance to a shop to conduct inane conversations about one of your families hernia or other miscellanious rubbish.
Thou shalt not drag an umbrella through a busy pavement at eye height (I once had a four inch scratch put on my face about half an inch under my left eye) on pain of having it inserted into you and opened.
Thou shalt keep an eye on your kids. If they dash out of the crowd in front of me and I walk into them it's your fault not mine. You had them, you look after them.
I am sure there are more, possibly ten but I cannot be arsed with thinking of others.
The main commandment is just fucking stop it, ok?
posted by Student at 11:05 am
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