Torquemada's shades

With the sunny weather recently I rediscovered something I had forgotten.

I am the proud owner of a pair of sun glasses that hurt. Personally I think it may be karma as they were obtained in a questionable manner.

Don't look at me like that. I am still a human being.

I accidentally stole them.

No, seriously. Total mistake.

I got sunburned in Ko Samui and really needed some aftersun. This hurt so badly that I had to carry my backpack in my arms rather than across my shoulders. So I was pretty distracted.

Anyway, I wandered into the chemist pushed my sunglasses up on top of my head as it was dark in there and went looking for the aftersun. I bought it, picked my sunglasses up off the counter and left. It wasn't until later I realised that I had a pair just like the ones in my hand on my head.

They weren't from the chemist, I think someone had put their shades down while they bought something and I had picked them up thinking they were mine. They weren't exactly the same but they were near as damn it.

I shrugged and forgot about it. Two pairs of shades are better than one. I started wearing them but something was badly wrong. The bits that go over your ears were slightly longer than my own shades. The tips gripped the side of my head and nipped pressure points behind my ears. It's quite bizarre. Sunglasses that cause me physical pain to wear. Maybe the rightful owner ditched them at the shop? Maybe it was some sneaky trick to catch our the light fingered. Maybe it's Karma. I don't wear them if I can help it but occassionally when I am in a rush I pick up the wrong ones and suffer from the ninja shades head pinch.

While we are strolling about Ko Samui reminiscing I have to mention that there was a McDonalds and a Starbucks there. The big companies pimping to the locals. You can't get away from them.

It was amazing they had any customers at all. Not 200 yards away I had the best Italian meal of my life (cooked by a swiss chef weirdly enough). Three courses served at a table, lit by fairy lights, at night, on the beach. The background murmur of the waves, the great food, the impeccable service and the company of my best friend made it one of those nights I will remember forever. The merest glimmer of a thought didn't even begin to consider crossing my mind with the slightest suggestion that I should eat at McDonalds (or that I would bulldoze your house while you were at the pub).

Bite me Ronald. Go find a hammer, sit on the beach and pound all that sand up your arse.