The way of the pepper mill
I may have the odd quirk. You know little things that you do that might be considered a bit odd? Don't leave me hanging here, we all have them. Anyone? Just me? Really?
Anyway somebody has to be the first to own up to them and as I am not hearing much from you lot I guess it will have to be me.I am not talking OCD just habits we get into, especially if you live alone.
I am a culinary Ninja. I didn't know this about myself until it was pointed out to me, but I am. I can only assume that the master that taught me (some frail little Japanese guy with a wispy beard and the ability to kick your lungs out I assume) did some Ninja hypnosis on me and supressed the memories until the time comes when I am needed to save the world.
What gave me away? How was the pasta assassin unmasked? Not by cooking dressed in black or by moving through the kitchen like the wind, not even by accidently taking on a dinner guest in single combat before snapping their spine over my knee. No, I was unmasked by the way I add pepper to food.
I approach the pan that needs seasoning with my pepper grinder. I assume the stance of the pepper pot. My feet are a little more than shoulder width apart, this gives me the balance to move fast in any direction. My left hand grasps the shaft of the pepper mill to refine my aim. We don't want pepper going everywhere do we? My right hand turns the grinder on the top of the mill, as my pepper mill is over a foot long this results in my right elbow being stuck in the air.
This may result in me looking a little silly but then Mr Miagi looked like a bit of a plum when applying the crane kick to the nose of a karate teacher who had forgetten the gentle teachings of the art (or perhaps just gave him some lip). You wont be laughing when the fate of the world is resting in my hands and I am locked in single combat with an evil genius armed only with my faithful pepper mill. Thought not.
It seems best that I continue my life as a mild mannered hobby cook until I am needed. When the time comes perhaps I can get another pepper mill and link them with chain like spicy nunchuks. I could take on the evil genius and make sure that dinner has the correct amount of pep.
"would you like some pepper?...... Yeah, you better run!"
Anyway somebody has to be the first to own up to them and as I am not hearing much from you lot I guess it will have to be me.I am not talking OCD just habits we get into, especially if you live alone.
I am a culinary Ninja. I didn't know this about myself until it was pointed out to me, but I am. I can only assume that the master that taught me (some frail little Japanese guy with a wispy beard and the ability to kick your lungs out I assume) did some Ninja hypnosis on me and supressed the memories until the time comes when I am needed to save the world.
What gave me away? How was the pasta assassin unmasked? Not by cooking dressed in black or by moving through the kitchen like the wind, not even by accidently taking on a dinner guest in single combat before snapping their spine over my knee. No, I was unmasked by the way I add pepper to food.
I approach the pan that needs seasoning with my pepper grinder. I assume the stance of the pepper pot. My feet are a little more than shoulder width apart, this gives me the balance to move fast in any direction. My left hand grasps the shaft of the pepper mill to refine my aim. We don't want pepper going everywhere do we? My right hand turns the grinder on the top of the mill, as my pepper mill is over a foot long this results in my right elbow being stuck in the air.
This may result in me looking a little silly but then Mr Miagi looked like a bit of a plum when applying the crane kick to the nose of a karate teacher who had forgetten the gentle teachings of the art (or perhaps just gave him some lip). You wont be laughing when the fate of the world is resting in my hands and I am locked in single combat with an evil genius armed only with my faithful pepper mill. Thought not.
It seems best that I continue my life as a mild mannered hobby cook until I am needed. When the time comes perhaps I can get another pepper mill and link them with chain like spicy nunchuks. I could take on the evil genius and make sure that dinner has the correct amount of pep.
"would you like some pepper?...... Yeah, you better run!"
posted by Student at 11:16 am
2 Comments:
`There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
Your hair wants cutting!
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