Time
Wow, it appears that time has flown by again. I get busy and I forget about this old blog. After a while I notice something missing and dust it off like an old jacket (you know the one, not fashionable but you think it's stylish, it spends a lot of time at the bottom of your wardrobe until you notice it and take it for a spin).
Anyway not much has occurred. I am trying to get back into climbing. I am never sure if I like it that much. It's not really enjoyment I get out of it it's some sort of satisfaction. Also, for me it's like getting into the lotus position and saying om. Like the chap in layer cake says mediation is occupying part of your mind with something so the rest can zone out (my paraphrasing). He strips guns and puts them together again. I scramble up a wall and hang by my finger tips. It's very true though, being high up and not having a safety rope (most of the time I free climb) concentrates the mind wonderfully. So despite the pain in my forearms, the abraded hands and the occasional lumps and bruises that I get from climbing I leave feeling calm and together.
Had a rough time getting over my last relationship. Seems poetic that I end something then struggle to deal with the fall out. I feel like I have come through it but it wasn't fun. Good friends and good times are a panacea. It always takes me a while to sort my head out. Generally as long as I stay positive I'm OK. I read somewhere that during times of stress a mind can go towards the positive or towards the negative and the way that it goes can be strongly influenced by training. In other words think good thoughts. All a bit Disney really isn't it? Go too far down that road and you are standing in a field singing in harmony to the blue birds which are perched on your hat.
So relationships. They must go into room 101. I meet someone and it's great. The romance, the wining and dining, spending time with someone you genuinely like all and if all goes well some time in the bedroom.
The problem seems to be when you reach that point where you either take it further or it ends. The 'do you love them' point. It always takes a while to work it out but once you know, you know and if what you know is that it isn't love then it has to end. What else can you do? Fuck buddies? Sure, but that only seems to work if you are both in the same place. Get that wrong and it goes pear shaped pretty quickly. Stick it out and hope that it gets better? Oh get a pair and be a man about it. You know it's not going to get better and if you don't do the decent thing the only option is a life with someone you don't love, who is that fair to? Burying your head never works.
So although I am an addicted serial monogamist I have decided to ditch the relationships as they have all ended the same way. I know there is the argument that it only has to happen once but I have been figuratively standing here arms folded tapping my foot for some time now. Make with the romance plenty quick, chop bloody chop.
OK, I know above I said I was ditching relationships but I have thought for several seconds and decided I was a bit hasty. After all i am sure next time I will hit the jackpot!
What?!...
Anyway not much has occurred. I am trying to get back into climbing. I am never sure if I like it that much. It's not really enjoyment I get out of it it's some sort of satisfaction. Also, for me it's like getting into the lotus position and saying om. Like the chap in layer cake says mediation is occupying part of your mind with something so the rest can zone out (my paraphrasing). He strips guns and puts them together again. I scramble up a wall and hang by my finger tips. It's very true though, being high up and not having a safety rope (most of the time I free climb) concentrates the mind wonderfully. So despite the pain in my forearms, the abraded hands and the occasional lumps and bruises that I get from climbing I leave feeling calm and together.
Had a rough time getting over my last relationship. Seems poetic that I end something then struggle to deal with the fall out. I feel like I have come through it but it wasn't fun. Good friends and good times are a panacea. It always takes me a while to sort my head out. Generally as long as I stay positive I'm OK. I read somewhere that during times of stress a mind can go towards the positive or towards the negative and the way that it goes can be strongly influenced by training. In other words think good thoughts. All a bit Disney really isn't it? Go too far down that road and you are standing in a field singing in harmony to the blue birds which are perched on your hat.
So relationships. They must go into room 101. I meet someone and it's great. The romance, the wining and dining, spending time with someone you genuinely like all and if all goes well some time in the bedroom.
The problem seems to be when you reach that point where you either take it further or it ends. The 'do you love them' point. It always takes a while to work it out but once you know, you know and if what you know is that it isn't love then it has to end. What else can you do? Fuck buddies? Sure, but that only seems to work if you are both in the same place. Get that wrong and it goes pear shaped pretty quickly. Stick it out and hope that it gets better? Oh get a pair and be a man about it. You know it's not going to get better and if you don't do the decent thing the only option is a life with someone you don't love, who is that fair to? Burying your head never works.
So although I am an addicted serial monogamist I have decided to ditch the relationships as they have all ended the same way. I know there is the argument that it only has to happen once but I have been figuratively standing here arms folded tapping my foot for some time now. Make with the romance plenty quick, chop bloody chop.
OK, I know above I said I was ditching relationships but I have thought for several seconds and decided I was a bit hasty. After all i am sure next time I will hit the jackpot!
What?!...
posted by Student at 10:40 am
2 Comments:
wish all people could be so honest with themselves from the start ... and with each other.
I hate to admitt some of us had to learn very painfull lessons the hard way.
relationships are so complicated, but I dont think they should be..... if its right you both just know it... right?
hope you doing well
cheers
Hey, I still lie to myself just occasionally I get some clarity. Painful maybe but hopefully the lessons have taken.
I thinkyou are right relationships shouldn't be difficult, at least not at first. If you are struggling in the first few weeks then it's probably not happening.
Nice to hear from you
Post a Comment
<< Home