Don't Panic
As I am on a roll and as a couple of annoying things came back to me during the last post I thought I would keep going.
This is not about the Douglas Adams masterpiece or even about that odious pile of cinematic entrails that defiled everything good about hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. It refers to another guide.
This guide also has little tidbits in it. Snippets of info that you really, really shouldn't care about. I am talking about the TV guide.
I don't know how it is in your corner of the globe but here there are many to choose from, some better than others. Where they all fall down is in the amount of useless information they include.
In an ideal P1Pworld the TV guide would have a section that informed you of what was on the TV each day for a week. It would include a section that just showed what films were on by day for a week. If you have sky then perhaps a satellite section. End of story.
What it doesn't need are lots of tiny paragraphs about each soap opera. The people who watch soap operas know what's going on in them and the people who don't, don't care. We don't need true life stories about some woman from Barnsley who saw god in her cornflakes. We don't need a top ten tips for anything. We certainly don't need an advert that tells us how for the bargain price of £300 (paid in 12 easy monthly installments) we can own one of franklin mints abominations in the form of a statue of the baby jesus in santa claus' arms. In fact we dont need any adverts.
If I want all that extra crap I will seek it out. I don't see it as value for money, I don't rejoice that the generous people at TV quick have seen fit to include all this extra stuff just for me. I bought a TV guide because I wanted to know what would be on the TV and that's all I want.
My response to this is to buy the cheapest one I can find. When taking it from the rack at the shop I make sure to give it a little shake. This makes all the loose adverts (and they are legion) for mobile phones and credit cards etc slide back out of my TV guide and back into the rack for the Shop to deal with (join me in this people fight back at the man at TV quick).
The TV guide people have got wise to this. They have started to staple adverts into the middle on the TV guide.
Touche TV guide types you are worthy opponents you may have won the battle but the war will go on. A short sharp tug on the offending pages and they go in the bin with the rest of the crap (it's all in the wrist).
Obviously I can do nothing about the adverts and rubbish printed in the guide. Well I could, I could cut them out with scissors or black them out with a marker pen but even I can see that's taking it too far. Start doing crap like that and you will end up papering over all your windows and wearing a hat of silver foil to keep the voices out.
All I am saying is that if there was such a thing as a TV guide that was just a TV guide I'd buy it. Probably with tears of gratitude in my eyes.
PS Whoever designs the stuff at Franklin Mint. STOP IT. Good god have pity. Native American flower fairies? Holy Mother of Arse. If I was bush I'd level your factory with a missile and claim accidental friendly fire. Franklin mint people... BAD. NO. Go to your room and when you come out design something that wouldn't make any right minded person weep and beg for death.
This is not about the Douglas Adams masterpiece or even about that odious pile of cinematic entrails that defiled everything good about hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. It refers to another guide.
This guide also has little tidbits in it. Snippets of info that you really, really shouldn't care about. I am talking about the TV guide.
I don't know how it is in your corner of the globe but here there are many to choose from, some better than others. Where they all fall down is in the amount of useless information they include.
In an ideal P1Pworld the TV guide would have a section that informed you of what was on the TV each day for a week. It would include a section that just showed what films were on by day for a week. If you have sky then perhaps a satellite section. End of story.
What it doesn't need are lots of tiny paragraphs about each soap opera. The people who watch soap operas know what's going on in them and the people who don't, don't care. We don't need true life stories about some woman from Barnsley who saw god in her cornflakes. We don't need a top ten tips for anything. We certainly don't need an advert that tells us how for the bargain price of £300 (paid in 12 easy monthly installments) we can own one of franklin mints abominations in the form of a statue of the baby jesus in santa claus' arms. In fact we dont need any adverts.
If I want all that extra crap I will seek it out. I don't see it as value for money, I don't rejoice that the generous people at TV quick have seen fit to include all this extra stuff just for me. I bought a TV guide because I wanted to know what would be on the TV and that's all I want.
My response to this is to buy the cheapest one I can find. When taking it from the rack at the shop I make sure to give it a little shake. This makes all the loose adverts (and they are legion) for mobile phones and credit cards etc slide back out of my TV guide and back into the rack for the Shop to deal with (join me in this people fight back at the man at TV quick).
The TV guide people have got wise to this. They have started to staple adverts into the middle on the TV guide.
Touche TV guide types you are worthy opponents you may have won the battle but the war will go on. A short sharp tug on the offending pages and they go in the bin with the rest of the crap (it's all in the wrist).
Obviously I can do nothing about the adverts and rubbish printed in the guide. Well I could, I could cut them out with scissors or black them out with a marker pen but even I can see that's taking it too far. Start doing crap like that and you will end up papering over all your windows and wearing a hat of silver foil to keep the voices out.
All I am saying is that if there was such a thing as a TV guide that was just a TV guide I'd buy it. Probably with tears of gratitude in my eyes.
PS Whoever designs the stuff at Franklin Mint. STOP IT. Good god have pity. Native American flower fairies? Holy Mother of Arse. If I was bush I'd level your factory with a missile and claim accidental friendly fire. Franklin mint people... BAD. NO. Go to your room and when you come out design something that wouldn't make any right minded person weep and beg for death.
posted by Student at 10:10 am
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